Outdoor Expedition One - The Death March.

After many years of camping, with topo maps, guide books, park maps, you'd think I would have learned the major rule...

Guide Books Lie, and the Map is Wrong.

We had hiked three miles the day before, along a trail the park map had called "Strenuous". There were no problems, no tears, no accidents. The adults were quite happy with how well the children did.

So for the Sunday hike, we picked another three mile, round trip hike. The map called this trail "Strenuous", and promised beautiful overlooks at the top of the hill. Strenuous? We did strenuous without a problem! This will be a piece of cake.

Well, it was uphill almost all of the way. We made numerous rest stops, and R4, being the youngest and smallest, needed much encouragement to continue. He smacked his head on a tree branch when he ducked under one, and came up too fast and smacked a second branch behind the first. R3 started to worry that we had missed the overlooks. It took nearly and hour and a half to reach the top, where the views were less than spectacular.

The return trip was faster, but just as miserable for different reasons. R4, the tail dragger on the way up, zipped down the trail without a problem. He warned each person we passed on the trail exactly how high the hill was. Ace, who stoically marched up the hill, had problems negotiating the downhill. Rocks slid out from under her feet, and she constantly worried about falling forward down the trail. R3's knees made hideous popping noises, and he twisted his ankle.

After 45 minutes, we reached the parking lot. The kids were allowed to go to the playground, where Ace's exhaustion led to an accident with a swing. No blood, just tears. We immediately went to the closest fast food, where the main question was "What toy am I getting with my meal?"